Out Of The Ashes

Spring. The most hopeful time of year. Trees budding, flowers blooming, bright, new green grass popping up out of the shaggy brown remains of last year’s lawn. It’s a rebirth. A clean slate. A fresh start. The anticipation of things to come. I love spring! 

My husband and I were married in the spring and recently celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary in the beautiful little town of Abingdon, Virginia. As we were sitting at breakfast in a little country inn, my breath was taken by a beautiful flowering tree that filled the dining room window blocking out most of the verdant, rolling pastureland behind it. I mentioned to the Innkeeper how beautiful I thought this tree was and she was more than happy to share it’s history with me.

It was planted by her grandmother many years ago and grew into the tall purple-pink beauty that I was so taken with. Not without some adversity, however. A few years after it was planted, her grandfather became frustrated by the tree because he could no longer see the farm from his seat at the dining table. The tree was in his way and therefore, deemed a menace.

She recalled how her grandfather decided to chop down grandmother’s lovely tree and have a huge bonfire. A morbid celebration of sorts, which included the burning of the stump. By burning the stump, he was sealing it’s fate leaving only the memory of it’s beautiful existence.

As time went by, and much to everyone’s surprise, life began to emerge from the ashes of that  once grand tree. From a tiny sprout, it grew and grew to become stronger and more beautiful than ever. Why the Innkeeper’s grandfather didn’t try to remove it again, I couldn’t tell you. Perhaps it was because he felt sorry he had tried to destroy such a beautiful life that refused to be snuffed out...even if it was just a tree. Maybe he had gained respect for it’s will to survive. Or could it be that the tree had just continued to grow, slowly and quietly, year after year, until it simply outlived the one who tried to destroy it? I suppose I will never know the answer but I will always be inspired by this tree that  refused to die. 

There are people I have encountered along my journey who have had similar experiences in life. Sometimes due to other people. Sometimes due to life itself. SomeONE or someTHING tried to destroy them down to the very root of their being and failed. They refused to give up. They never stopped trying. They simply continued on even in the most dire of circumstances and often alone. They love. They laugh. They live. By the grace and mercy of God, they’ve sprung up from the ruins and allowed the rain to wash off the ashy residue of the past which, in turn, fertilized the soil that sustains them...and they bloom! With big, bright, beautiful blossoms of HOPE, they bloom!
Did I mention that I love spring? 

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. -Isaiah 61:3

My Little Green Dragon

I’ve heard it said that a lie will travel half way around the world while the truth is still putting on it’s shoes. And, unfortunately, like many of you who are reading this, I have experienced it or rather felt the sting of it, many times over throughout my life and ministry. I’ve often wondered why people find the lives of others so interesting that they want to be involved in trying to destroy them. I could possibly sit and complain about how much it hurts but when I compare my situation with that of the apostle Paul who was nearly beaten to death and imprisoned, I realize I have absolutely no room to gripe or feel sorry for myself. I can’t imagine standing before God and telling Him all the reasons I decided to give up because someone talked about me or my family. How childish would that be? How sad is it that quitting is often our first thought when we face painful situations beyond our control?

There are so many Scriptures about the tongue and the power that lies in it. It is ABSOLUTELY a two edged sword that has the power to encourage, inspire, and motivate but can also destroy families, tear down the ministry, spiritually murder a new Christian and plant seeds of doubt in nearly every area of one’s life. And there is absolutely nothing we can do about it when it happens. Well, actually there are lots of things we COULD but hopefully WOULDN’T do if we claim to have the Spirit of God living inside of us.

We possess a natural instinct to defend ourselves. We also possess a natural urge to fight back...you know, an eye for an eye. But we can’t. Not always. There are some instances that we have to leave it completely up to God to be our defense.

In the past, my husband and I faced a particular situation that completely devastated us both. We had worked in an area somewhere in the world (which we had been informed by an elder minister who was familiar with the place) known for tearing down the ministry. And of course, we didn’t come out of it unscathed. We were accused of so many things it was ridiculous! You name it...we supposedly did it. All completely untrue and unfounded. It broke our hearts. People whom we had spent years loving and trying to nurture spiritually suddenly turned their backs on us without ever asking if what they had heard was truth or not. Unfortunately, the source of their “bad information” was a tricky one...someone very involved in their lives. So what were we to do? After much prayer, many tears and sleepless nights...we came to the conclusion that all we could do was wait and let God sort it out.

So that’s what we did. And it wasn’t easy. I must say, that this became what I refer to as my “daily dragon”. It was all I could think about. When I woke up in the morning, it was blowing it’s stale, smokey breath in my face. As I went about my daily routine, it was breathing fire down my neck. And if I didn’t manage to slay it at some point in the day, it was there at night to tuck me in and wish me unpleasant dreams...if I were ever to fall asleep at all. Then in the morning...there he was again. Little devil!

I believe we all have some kind of “dragon” to slay in our lives in one area or another. I also believe that God lets them exist in our lives, no matter how unpleasant, to draw us closer to Him and learn to depend on and trust Him more. To help us learn that He is our refuge and strength and no matter what...He has our back.

I don’t, however, believe that He wants us to keep them as pets! They are there to teach us something and then they MUST go....through much intercession, fasting and determination. At least, that’s what it took for me to get MY life back. That and the fact that God had placed me and my husband on the hearts of many precious people who had no idea what we were going through, but felt impressed to pray.

I’m sure God got tired of me asking Him “why” all the time. I may never know exactly why, and He doesn’t owe me an explanation. He is God after all. But I must say, I’ve learned an awful lot from this experience. First of which, is it isn’t always the source of a lie, or the lie itself, that causes the most pain, but who believes it. Second, the truth will always prevail and a liar will be marked as what he/she is. Third, letting God be your defense is the best offense. And lastly, no matter what, I absolutely refuse to believe every negative word I hear about someone else unless I hear it from their own mouth. So, my dear friend, if I hear something questionable about you...don’t worry. It stops here.

Psalms 101:7, "He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight."

In conclusion, I would love to tell you that everyone now knows the truth and everything is back the way it should have stayed...but I can’t. Fairytale endings usually only happen in fairytales. Sure, there are some who never doubted us, others who have since learned the truth...but there are still others who don’t know and probably don’t care one way or the other anymore. There are some things that can’t ever be completely repaired. Lies ALWAYS leave casualties. BUT when I look back at bridges that were burned and fences that remain un-mended, I can only thank God that at least that little green dragon doesn’t control my life anymore. It's been defeated!

On Courage

COURAGE|ˈkərij; ˈkə-rij| noun- the ability to do something that frightens one : she called on all her courage to face the ordeal.
• strength in the face of pain or grief : he fought his illness with great courage.

Courage...it's a word we attribute to heroes, and super heroes. It is a noun that according to the above dictionary entry means an ability or strength. If you look it up in a thesaurus, you may find these words: bravery, courageousness, pluck, pluckiness, valour, fearlessness, intrepidity, nerve, daring, audacity, boldness, grit, true grit, hardihood, heroism, gallantry, guts, spunk, moxie. Whatever you call it, people rarely attribute courage to themselves. It seems to be reserved for special people who have either impressed us or affected our lives personally in some positive way.

There are courageous people around us all the time and we don't even realize it. The circumstances of life (not always of their own making) have placed them in the position they are in yet they summon the courage to continue on. I have been taught to look at the homeless and downtrodden with a sense of disdain because, "If they would just get off their lazy bums and get a job then they wouldn't be on the streets begging for money." "They could at least get a job flipping hamburgers somewhere!" "If they'd quit drinking and get off that "stuff", then they could make something of themselves!" I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been taught this as a child by overhearing adult conversations about the world around us. And yes, I do understand that there are instances where people have taken advantage of other peoples kindness and compassion, but as I have grown older, I have come to realize that it isn't always that simple. Not everyone on the street "deserves" to be there. Not everyone with a lot of money is perfectly happy. And whether you are living under a bridge or in a mansion, sometimes it takes more courage to live than die.

It is a shame that I have become so cynical. So judgmental toward others. Through a series of life events and following examples, I have come to a point where I don't trust easily, if ever, and tend to feel that people don't want to be close to me because they are really interested in ME but for what I can do for them. I believe that many of us are this way. It's easy to put up walls of defense to keep yourself protected from pain, but walls also keep out love. Walls keeps us from giving it...AND receiving it!

I was taught to put up walls to protect myself from certain kinds of people because of who I am and who they are. Yes, I know as Christians we are taught to love the world...but we don't. Not really. We have our own little place of worship, our group of friends within it and we really don't have time for anyone or anything else. This only hurts ourselves and keeps us from doing the will of God in our lives. Over the last few years and months, I have learned that often it's within those walls that most of the pain we experience occurs. Sadly, some of those that we have loved, trusted, put faith in because they are "one of us" were the quickest to turn their backs on us. It doesn't matter how much we do or sacrifice for them, they don't seem to care. Unfortunately, a few of the ones within our protective walls are the first to step on us in order to elevate themselves or they tend to ignore us altogether. The walls I thought were there to protect me, my family, utterly failed. The walls in which I tried to have friendships and healing left me with indescribable loneliness and disappointment. Now I'm trying to tear these walls down...one stone at a time. And it's hard. I'm accustomed to them. They are, unfortunately, a part of who I have become. A prison of my own making.

There are very few real friendships in the world. And those of us in the church are experts at the superficial ones. I'm tired of that. I'm tired of the uncomfortable waves and smiles at meetings...and the whispers that follow them. I'm tired of trying to MAKE things work for PEOPLE. If they do then GREAT...but if they don't, then it's really okay. It's all for God anyway. I'm not called to have a superior position in a huge church somewhere or be popular. I'm not qualified for it. Our little world isn't that impressive on the secular scene anyway, so who are we really trying to impress? Each other? It's ridiculous. We certainly aren't impressing God! Who cares about being a "big fish in a little pond" that's not what life is about. We are here to live and to love. We are here to share Christ with the lost. We are here to have compassion. To be kind. To reach out. But obviously, you can't reach through a wall.

I'm determined to tear it down. I can't live in it. I'm sick of it. I've got to change my focus and perspective. God put me here to help Him reach the lost, not impress the saved. To witness to the ones who are not like me...who do things I don't...look differently...live differently...but continue to exist only hoping to find the Savior that I have. Those who don't smell so good or have clean clothes and perfect hygiene. Those who have broken homes and broken dreams. Those that don't care how many our church has in attendance on a given Sunday or how advanced our music program is. Those who aren't interested in the car I drive, the house I live in or the label on my clothes. Whether my skirt goes to my ankles or my knees or whether or not I wear a wedding ring. Those who have real problems, and real struggles yet somehow have the guts to SURVIVE another day. It's for them that I pray to also have courage. Courage to BREAK OUT of this...REACH OUT to them...and LIVE OUT the life that GOD has called me to.

How else can I help them find the change they are searching for? ...and they are searching.

God give us COURAGE!

Finding Happily Ever After

The church in Augsburg will be having a marriage retreat in a couple of weeks and I was asked to write an article about marriage for the church newsletter. This is what it looked like after translation. I've never seen anything I've written translated before! Thought I'd share...even though you probably can't read it either! ;)


Die Ehe ist eine Institution von Gott geschaffen, damit zwei Menschen ihr Leben in Einheit verbringen. Einheit bedeutet, dass sie ein vollständiges und gefälliges Ganzes, in Harmonie und Übereinstimmung bilden. Er wollte, dass wir unser Leben mit einem anderen Menschen teilen, den er dazu geschaffen hat uns zu ergänzen. Interessant ist, dass das erste Wunder, das Jesus vollbrachte während einer Hochzeit stattfand. Kannst Du Dir Jesus Christus, leibhaftig, bei Deiner Hochzeit vorstellen?! Welch eine Ehre für die Braut und den Bräutigam! Und Welch eine Freude es für Jesus gewesen sein muss mit ihnen, in dem Bewusstsein zu feiern, dass sie nun den Rest ihres Lebens miteinander verbringen würden, so wie es von Anfang der Zeit geplant war.
Oft erwarten Menschen am Anfang ihrer Ehe ein „Leben im Wunderland“. Sie nehmen an, dass jeder Tag genauso ist, wie vor ihrem „Ja-Wort“. Diese wunderbare Zeit, wenn jeder von ihnen versucht gut auszusehen, sich perfekt zu benehmen, freundlich, zuvorkommend, rücksichtsvoll, liebend und immer glücklich zu sein den anderen zu sehen … selbst an schlechten Tagen. Wir entdecken jedoch schnell, dass dies absolut nicht der Fall ist! Nach den ersten Monaten verwandelt sich der stattliche Prinz wieder in einen Frosch und die Prinzessin … nun, es ist wohl offensichtlich, dass sie von Anfang an definitiv KEINE Prinzessin war! Das Miteinander ist nicht so einfach, wie wir es angenommen haben und wir mühen uns ab während wir nebeneinander her leben, statt, wie von Gott geplant, ein Leben in Einheit zu leben. Insbesondere trifft dies auf Menschen zu, die vor der Ehe viele Jahre alleine gelebt haben und die es nicht gewohnt sind jemand anderem gegenüber verantwortlich zu sein. Dies kann ein ernster Kamp sein, es sei denn, wir erlauben Gott uns zu helfen in Einheit zusammen zu wachsen.
Wenn Du mit Einheit in Deiner Ehe zu kämpfen hast, beachte folgende Vorschläge.
• Denk daran, wer euch zusammen gebracht hat. Gott hat euch aus einem Grund zusammen geführt. Es ist sein Wille, dass ihr eins werdet (1. Mose 2,24), dass ihr einander ehrt (Epheser 5,22-33), dass ihr einander liebt (1. Korinther 13) und dass ihr zusammen bleibt bis der Tod euch scheidet (Matthäus 19,9).
• Verändere Dein Denken. Du bist immer noch eine Einzelperson. Aber Gott hat Dich dazu berufen, Deinen Vater und Deine Mutter zu verlassen, um Dich mit Deinem Partner zu vereinen. Das bedeutet, dass Du sowohl Dein Denken (Du gehörst jetzt jemand anderem), als auch Dein Verhalten (benimm Dich nicht mehr wie eine einzelne Person) ändern musst. Das Denken zu ändern kann Deine Gefühle ändern. Fang an wie ein verheirateter Mensch zu denken und Du wirst Dich wahrscheinlich auch als solcher fühlen.
• Lerne über den Wunsch Gottes nach Einheit in Deiner Ehe. Lies Bibelstellen, die die Wichtigkeit der Einheit und Eintracht betonen (Johannes 17; 1. Korinther 7). Bete, dass Gott Dir Haltungen und Taten zeigt, die der Einheit im Weg stehen. Hör auf, dich auf die Fehler Deines Partners zu konzentrieren und fang an, an der Einheit zu arbeiten, indem Du Dich selbst änderst.
• Lerne von anderen. Bitte Paare, von denen Du weißt, dass sie eine starke Ehe führen, wie sie von der Unabhängigkeit in die gegenseitige Abhängigkeit gelangt sind. Welche Denkmuster und Gewohnheiten haben sie angenommen?

Denke auch daran, dass ein Paar, während es danach trachtet näher zu Gott zu kommen, sich auch selbst näher kommt. Glück und Harmonie sind der Wille Gottes für eine Ehe. Er möchte, dass ihr glücklich bis an euer Lebensende lebt!

REVELATION!

I just had a revelation about revelations! Not as in the “book of”, but rather the “unveiling”. It all started with a fishing trip in Ireland...

One afternoon on our last trip to Ireland, we found ourselves hanging out at the apartment we had rented with absolutely nothing to do. We had already driven around half the country (literally) and had gone to the seashore so many times that you could build sandcastles on the floorboards of our car! You know how it is when you go to the beach...sand stuck to everything! And we had two teenage girls with us, who weren’t interested in doing much of anything but “chillin’”. SO, one of my guys came up with the brilliant idea of fishing! Woohoo!!! Ok, not really much emphasis on the “woohoo” from me because my guys like to fly fish and I haven’t developed the talent so my idea of fishing is a pole, worms, and possibly bologna which I found the fish in the ponds of Poplarville, MS loved when I was a kid! But they insisted that I go with them and after a half hour of nagging, I caved and off we went to find fish that we were going to throw back into the water with newly punctured lips! I think they may have rather been eaten than have holes poked in them. ANYWAY...off we go!

We drive through the beautiful Irish countryside and find ourselves at a place where they raise fish and you can rent the gear to catch them. There were several ponds. Some for fly fishing and others for my fishing but, of course, we had to stay on the fly fishing side where I opted to watch and not fish. The setting was beautiful! There were fields surrounding us with sheep yelling at one another. Seriously, one would yell and then the rest would join in for about five minutes. Then silence for a few minutes and it would start again. It sounded like they were telling jokes! Or arguing! It was great...but I decided I don’t want sheep when I move there...too noisy! I digress. It was beautiful and a bit cloudy, which is typical of Ireland.

My guys were grinning from ear to ear. They were completely in their element! I was enjoying watching them have such a great time catching fish. Bobby kept pointing to different areas of the water and telling me to look at the fish. He was so excited about all the fish he was seeing and I was looking at him like he was an idiot because all I could see was the reflection of the sky in water. I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t share in his excitement because I couldn’t see what he was seeing. And I figured that he was either teasing me or had lost his mind. This kept on for quite a while. He’d point at an area the fish were in, cast the line in that direction and come back with a fish! Amazing! I was astounded.

As I watched him closer, I noticed that when he was looking for the fish, he kept adjusting the position of his sunglasses. Hmmm, could this be the secret? So the next time he pointed to the imaginary fish in the water, I asked him for his sunglasses. Lo and behold, as soon as I put them on, I could see the outline of fish swimming in the water exactly where he had pointed!!! It was amazing! The power of polarized sunglasses! Of course I had worn polarized sunglasses before...but they were strictly for protecting my eyes (and looking good ;) ) not for fishing. But the glasses held the secret!

I thought about that experience for the rest of the evening. It was a perfect example of revelation...or unveiling. So many times in our ministry, I have come in contact with those that for the longest time could never fully grasp the doctrine that we were teaching them. I would get so frustrated because I could see it right there in black and white, but no matter how hard I tried I could not make them see. In my simple mind, I just decided they didn’t WANT to see it. It never occurred to me that they actually COULDN’T see it! At least not until God gave them a REVELATION...which usually came through much prayer and fasting.

When revelation comes, it is a bit like those sunglasses. All of a sudden you can see what others have been seeing all along and it makes you want to look for more and more and more! (I didn't want to give Bobby the glasses back!) It is such an incredible thing!!! And it's so exciting to watch when someone gets a revelation of true salvation or the oneness of God! Now, when I see someone seeking for something more of God but not realizing that it is actually right in front of them, I determine to pray that God will give them the ability to see through His glasses! When we see things the way He sees them, our world becomes a much more beautiful and interesting place! And we find there are places we can go in the Spirit that we could never have imagined!

That was probably the most productive fishing trip I have ever been on. And we didn't even bring any fish home. HA! Go figure!

Godly Kids

We {as in the church} don’t want godly kids, we want good kids. Good kids make straight A’s, good kids don’t get pregnant before they get married, good kids make up their bed, do their homework, and they’re obedient and never embarrass me in front of my church friends. Godly kids are waking you up at three in the morning with the sound of intercession coming through the wall…We don’t really want godly kids, we want good kids. We want well-behaved kids with good manners…that are pleasant. You don’t want godly kids, godly kids will mess with you. You’ll go home one day and they’ll have thrown your DVD’s out. ~Damon Thompson

God is raising up a generation of godly kids that are tired of having religion without relationship! It's time!

Do you believe you can fly?

I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. Think about it every night and day. Spread my wings and fly away. I believe I can soar. See me running through the open door. I believe I can fly. I believe I can fly.

I love the lyrics to this old song that has been a favorite of mine for many years. I never really thought about it's message, however, until a spontaneous visit to the park with my nephew Seth.

Seth has an uncanny ability to pick up song lyrics and will often erupt into some random song that makes you turn around and say, "Huh? Where did that come from?" It's amazing and hilarious! While I was pushing him on the swing he began singing "think I believe I can fly". I tried to correct him by saying that he didn't have to add the extra word (think) but he refused to listen and kept singing "think I believe I can fly". As he continued to sing, it struck me how much that one little word affected the meaning of the song. The message it was intended to convey was one of faith. But with the addition of that one little word, doubt is thrown into the mix and changes everything. I think I believe I can fly...but I'm really not certain.

God has instructed us to trust in Him, have faith in Him and not lean on our own understanding. He tells us that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. He has given us examples of how He takes care of and provides for His people. He filled us with His Spirit and endued us with POWER FROM ON HIGH!!! He has performed so many miracles and answered so many prayers. Yet, there are times in our lives when we are faced with challenges and even though we have God on our side, we second guess the power in us and instead of standing up and singing with confidence "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY", we very quietly look the situation over whispering "I THINK I believe I can fly....Maybe."

Often, when we speak about believing, it is paired with trusting. How many times have you heard the phrase "just trust and believe"? I've come to realize in my own life that when I'm not so sure I can accomplish something God has placed in front of me, I'm usually not trusting Him as much as I should. So many times He has helped me to perform His work even when I was not trusting Him completely. I got through it, but with a lot of unnecessary worry and frustration. Looking back, I wonder how much easier things could have been had I simply let Him have control. I once heard a minister say that if we are SURPRISED when God answers a prayer, we probably had nothing to do with it. Hmmm...I suppose sometimes He accomplishes His purpose in spite of us and our doubt.

As Seth was in the swing with his arms outstretched, singing his song (albeit with the wrong lyrics), it never crossed his mind that I WASN'T going to be behind him pushing him along...helping him "fly". He trusted me and believed that I had no intention of going away and leaving him to try and do it on his own. The faith of a child! We should realize that God isn't going to leave us alone either. All we have to do is spread our wings and He will provide the strength and the power to accomplish what we need to. We just have to stop thinking and start believing.

In a couple of weeks my family and I will be leaving for Europe to work in the mission field. I'm not sure exactly what the task God has set before me entails but I am confident that whatever He asks me to do, He will give me the strength to accomplish...I believe I can FLY!

Thanks for the inspiration Seth! I love you, buddy!